Losing Faith in Your Tribe

Losing faith in your tribe is not a result of your own shortcomings. It is a signal of growth, that you are opening your eyes to the unseen and your ears to the unspoken.

Recently, I broached a series of topics with multiple people. Topics that I thought would either be beneficial for this blog or things that I am struggling with or meandering my way through. With every conversation, the topic of “losing faith in your tribe” won out.

Religious identity, political ideology, social circles, cultural groups, familial connections, sports clubs, and more are all examples of how we seek to form attachments beyond our individual selves. Beyond attachments, they become how we define an integral part of our own identity.

And that works, for a time. Until some internal or external forces pluck at the connecting strings, threatening to unravel what we thought was solid. The strain of this unraveling causes a churn of reflection and deliberation. Thoughts of how to salvage, repair, or shore up the bond appear initially. Some duct tape, super glue, or WD-40 (in the theoretical sense) seem worth a shot. It’s cheap, readily available, and does not require much of a time commitment. But in the end, duct tape cannot repair a faulty foundation.

Losing faith in your tribe is not a result of your own shortcomings. It is a signal of growth, that you are opening your eyes to the unseen and your ears to the unspoken. And yes, it is absolutely unsettling, particularly when you have a well-established set of values and sense of self. The mold that you were a part of somehow no longer fits. It chafes. It burns. It hurts.

The status quo is no longer an option.

Group dynamics morph like a sentient being over time. Our group identities and attachments were never meant to be eternal. Rather, they are the launching pad to self-discovery.

Changing belief systems, creating boundaries, determining who and what you are, and who you surround yourself with—is intense work. Shortcuts do not exist. As to where to start, it always begins with yourself. What values and morals are most important and why? Imagine everything material is stripped away; what remains at your core? Remove ego from the equation—who do you yearn to be? Answer those questions consistently over a period of time, and a path will form. It may surprise you where it leads.

Question, meditate, reflect, and grow. You are not alone on this journey. Open the door to discussion with others and you will see more often than not…you are among friends.

Do not fear change. Fear a life without change.