Life's Rough Deliveries of Character

Try as we might, the life we live does not arrive bubble wrapped, inside of a suitable box, and stamped with a large Handle With Care label. Sometimes it resembles a torn open, rain-soaked package that has been drop kicked onto the doorstep, landing upside down.

Try as we might, the life we live does not arrive bubble wrapped, inside of a suitable box, and stamped with a large Handle With Care label. Sometimes it resembles a torn open, rain-soaked package that has been drop kicked onto the doorstep, landing upside down.

The value of the contents of either delivery is of equal importance. And yet, the elements, handling and circumstances lead to two very different outcomes. Handling is controllable, the elements and circumstances oft are not. And yet, when we bring the item inside, are we surprised when one is pristine and untarnished, while the other carries the marks of a more perilous journey? I would argue that there is a level of understanding we inherently possess about such situations.

Our beginnings and evolution form the basis of our character. And truly, speaking from the point of view as a parent, we want to keep our children safe, protect them from the harshness and unpredictability the world offers. Without proper care, we can wind up insulating them so much that they arrive unprepared for the world at large. On the flip side, there are others who have less than the best of intentions and offer no cushion or perspective for formative minds. Extremes never serve as best case practices.

Character tells more about a person and their values than words ever could. Character must be the ultimate goal. The question must be asked at every stage, is this furthering the development of character? Some activities provide easy “yes” answers: education, group projects. Others are “yes” answers but are less comfortable: failure, peer pressure. And yet others are “no” answers that may cushion in the moment but are a long-term detriment: ego, greed.

As childhood submits to adulthood, we become responsible for weighing the character we possess versus the character we should aspire to. We are not beholden to stagnation and the “well, this was how I was taught” mentality. The only one who can remove the blinders, seek the unexplained, and understand what lies outside of our sphere—is ourself.  

The unexpected, whether welcome or not, will without fail always provide the opportunity to examine our character. To determine if it must be pruned or conditions adjusted for optimal growth. Instead of ruminating solely on the outcome to yourself, delve into the person you are becoming.

More is learned though the difficult moments than the times of plenty. What will you stand for? What will you never negotiate away?

The lessons we need to learn appear in a myriad of trials. Strength though adversity. Perseverance when the physical fails. Ethics above material gain. Values over tribalism. The power of empathy.

True character knows that the pristine, bubble wrapped life may contain contents utterly broken beyond repair, while the battle-tested, rain-soaked life may contain contents wholly undisturbed and stronger for its journey.

Trials are never all together pleasant things, but we must acknowledge with gratitude for how they shape us. And how we, in turn, shape the lives of those around us.